Lightning Fill In The Blank

Apr 7, 2018
Originally published on April 7, 2018 11:45 am
Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

It is time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Roxanne has two. Peter and Roy has three.

SAGAL: OK. Well that means, Roxanne, you are in second place, so you get to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump signed a proclamation calling for the deployment of National Guard troops to blank.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: To the Mexican border.

SAGAL: To the border.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, China announced for over $50 billion worth of new blanks causing stocks to tumble.

ROBERTS: Tariffs.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Russian officials said that President Trump had invited blank to visit the White House.

ROBERTS: President Valdimir (ph) (laughter)...

PETER GROSZ: Valdimir.

ROBERTS: Putin.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, voters elected liberal judge Rebecca Dallet to a Supreme Court seat in blank.

ROBERTS: Wisconsin.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During the first day of trading, music streaming service blank made a successful stock market debut.

ROBERTS: Spotify.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: With a last-second shot, blank won the women's NCAA basketball title on Sunday.

ROBERTS: Notre Dame.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: St. Louis residents are trying to solve the mystery of who keeps blanking on an I-270 exit ramp.

ROBERTS: Oh, and see, I knew about the zombie racoons, and you didn't ask me about that.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: OK, who keeps leaving hot cross buns on the white line?

SAGAL: You know, you're close. It was a foodstuff. But actually, somebody keeps leaving jars of pickles on the exit ramp.

ROBERTS: That's close enough.

SAGAL: No, it's not.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: For the past six years, this mystery has confounded residents of the St. Louis suburbs. There appears to be no pattern to when the pickles appear on the exit ramp. But the Kansas City Star this week predictively used a pickle pun in the headline about the story asking, quote, "what the dill?"

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No one claimed responsibility for the crime or that pun. But according to page six, the culprit is "Love And Basketball" actress Sanaa Lathan.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz? Pretty well, I think.

KURTIS: Yeah, pretty good - six right - 12 more points - total of 14 and the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Roxanne. Now, we've flipped a coin. Peter has elected to go second. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, it was reported that Special Counsel blank told Trump's lawyers that he was the subject of the investigation but not a target.

GROSZ: Robert Mueller.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, police reported that the woman who opened fire at blank's headquarters had a vendetta against that company.

GROSZ: YouTube.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, thousands of people gathered in Atlanta to honor the 50th anniversary of the death of blank.

GROSZ: Dr. Martin Luther King.

SAGAL: Indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Villanova beat Michigan to claim its second blank title in three years.

GROSZ: NCAA men's college...

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Wisconsin say they're on the hunt for a suspect who has been going around town and blanking.

GROSZ: Telling everyone he's Paul Ryan.

SAGAL: Clogging all the toilets - what a monster. On Thursday, President Trump praised West Virginia's 6'7" governor for being blank.

GROSZ: Like, mean to teachers.

SAGAL: No. He praised him for being, quote, "definitely the biggest governor."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Monday, South African activist blank passed away at the age of 81.

GROSZ: Winnie Mandela.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A U.S. toy company said they're hoping to educate children by selling stuffed toys inspired by blanks.

GROSZ: Winnie Mandela.

SAGAL: No...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Stuffed toys inspired by a sexually transmitted disease.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yes. GIANTmicrobes Incorporated was founded in 2002 with the aim of educating kids and adults about medical issues by making, you know, little stuffed animals of various microbes. And this week, they unveiled a line of stuffed animals based around various STDs.

GROSZ: Like Harry Herpes?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: No, no. They're sort of cartoon, stuffed versions of the actual a microbe that causes them. So they're - the full set includes chlamydia, gonorrhea and herpes. They're just as adorable as the real things.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Wait. Is this an April Fools' joke?

SAGAL: No. It's real.

ROBERTS: Really?

SAGAL: It's real. I've seen these. They're little stuffed microbes.

GROSZ: But you don't buy them for someone. You just, like, contract them and you, like, pass them along.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: You have to give them to everyone you sleep with.

ROY BLOUNT JR.: You give them to someone you love, unfortunately.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Peter do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Pretty good - five right - 10 more points - total to 13. But Roxanne has the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many then does Roy need to win?

KURTIS: Six to win.

SAGAL: All right, Roy. You can do this. This week, the White House outlined plans to pull 2,000 U.S. troops from blank.

BLOUNT JR.: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Facebook said now they believe that blank accessed the data of over 87 million users.

BLOUNT JR.: Oh, Cambridge Analytica.

SAGAL: That's the company.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a high court ruled that Luiz Lula da Silva, the former president of blank, can be jailed for corruption.

BLOUNT JR.: Brazil.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After responding to a life-saving call, paramedics in England returned to their ambulance and found blank.

BLOUNT JR.: You know, a little round tube of Lifesavers.

SAGAL: No - funny though. No.

BLOUNT JR.: Candy.

SAGAL: They found a note on the ambulance saying, please do not park here.

BLOUNT JR.: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Monday, China's defunct blank crashed to Earth in the South Pacific Ocean.

BLOUNT JR.: Satellite.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Space - well, actually, space station, but I'll give it to you. It was a satellite. Best known as the creator of "NYPD Blue" and "L.A. Law," producer blank passed away.

BLOUNT JR.: Steven Bochco.

SAGAL: That's indeed his name.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, two prisoners in Colombia managed to escape after they blanked.

BLOUNT JR.: After they just made up their minds.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After they got a guard drunk and then they convinced him to let them leave to get more booze.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The two inmates invited the guard to join them for some home-brewed liquor and, after getting him good and drunk, convinced the man to let them leave the prison to pick up some more alcohol. They have yet to return, which the guard says would be OK except they also said they were going to bring back some Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Bill, did Roy do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He was very close - five right - 10 more points - total to 13 - could not catch Roxanne.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Roxanne. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.