Lightning Fill In The Blank

May 26, 2018
Originally published on June 11, 2018 1:15 pm
Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

HELEN HONG, HOST:

Now onto our final game - Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Adam has three, Paula has two and Hari has two.

HONG: All right. We have flipped a coin. Hari has elected to go first. Hari, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Trump's son-in-law blank received permanent security clearance.

HARI KONDABOLU: Jared Kushner.

HONG: Correct.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: On Thursday, investigators revealed that the missile that brought down a Malaysian plane in 2014 was from blank's military.

KONDABOLU: Russia's.

HONG: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: On Thursday, several women accused actor and "March Of The Penguins" narrator blank of sexual harassment.

KONDABOLU: Morgan Freeman.

HONG: Yes, sadly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: Authorities determined that a fire at a hotel in Spain was caused by two guests blanking.

KONDABOLU: Having very vigorous sex.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: No - attempting to wake up another guest by burning his feet with a lighter.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: On Sunday, lava from Mount Kilauea in blank reached the ocean, creating a toxic steam cloud.

KONDABOLU: Hawaii.

HONG: Correct.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: On Wednesday, the Washington Capitals defeated the Tampa Bay Lightning to advance to the blank finals.

KONDABOLU: Stanley Cup finals.

HONG: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: An Ohio man walking home from a train station...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

HONG: ...At 5:30 in the morning called police when he noticed he was being followed by a blank.

KONDABOLU: Goat.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Not quite - kind of close - a very large pig.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: Oh, geez.

HONG: Yeah. According to the North Ridgeville Police Department, officers first assumed they were either being pranked or dealing with someone who was crazy drunk. However, they arrived on the scene to find, quote, "a very sober man" who was actually being followed by a 50-pound pig.

KONDABOLU: Who was drunk.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: No word on how intoxicated the pig might have been.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: There you go. Yeah.

HONG: The police managed to get the animal into their car and took it to the station. They were going to charge it with bacon and entering, but instead let it off with a porking (ph) ticket.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Bill, how did Hari do?

KURTIS: Hari got five right for 10 more points. He now has 12 points, and he took the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

HONG: OK. So Paula, you're next.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

HONG: Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the House voted to roll back regulations on blanks put in place after the 2008 financial crisis.

POUNDSTONE: On banks.

HONG: Correct.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: This week, the NFL approved fines for teams whose players blank during the national anthem.

POUNDSTONE: Peacefully protest the injustice towards black men.

(APPLAUSE)

HONG: Yes. I'm going to give it to you.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: On Tuesday, Stacey Abrams became the first black woman to be a major party candidate for governor when she won the Democratic nomination in blank.

POUNDSTONE: Georgia.

HONG: Correct.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: This week, a Florida couple are suing McDonald's for $5 million alleging that the restaurant blanked.

POUNDSTONE: Geez - fried the - the restaurant wasn't good.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Well, yes. But also...

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Also, they added cheese to their burgers without permission.

POUNDSTONE: Ugh.

HONG: According to climatologists, April was the 400th month in a row to be blanker than average.

POUNDSTONE: Hotter.

HONG: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: This week, Amazon announced it was banning customers who blanked items too often.

POUNDSTONE: Return them.

HONG: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: On Wednesday, the city manager of a town...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

HONG: ...In Florida apologized for an emergency alert warning of blank.

POUNDSTONE: I don't know - missiles?

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Zombies.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, right. I did know that.

HONG: A zombie attack. Lake Worth's power grids sends out automatic alerts whenever service is interrupted, as it did during a massive power outage on Wednesday. But some residents noticed the alert also warned of a zombie outbreak...

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: ...Especially alarming since Lake Worth's slogan is beautiful beaches, delicious brains.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Bill, how did Paula do?

KURTIS: Well, she got five right for 10 more points. She now has 12 points and is tied with Hari.

KONDABOLU: Oh.

HONG: Ooh.

(APPLAUSE)

HONG: Hot game. So, Bill, how many does Adam need to win?

KURTIS: Adam needs five to win.

HONG: All right, Adam, this is for the game. Are you ready?

ADAM FELBER: I guess so.

HONG: This week, a federal judge ruled that President Trump can't legally block people on what?

FELBER: Twitter.

HONG: Correct.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: On Monday, Gina Haspel was officially sworn in as the new director of blank.

FELBER: The CIA.

HONG: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: This week, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said that he supported findings that suggest blank helped Trump's campaign.

FELBER: Russia.

HONG: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: On Monday, Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin announced the trade war with blank has been put on hold.

FELBER: China.

HONG: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: After being caught by police with a bag of cocaine in his house, a man in Florida told officers blank.

FELBER: There was more in the garage.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: That he was only keeping it in his home so that the neighborhood kids couldn't get to it.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: On Monday, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio instructed police to end arrests for blank.

FELBER: Marijuana.

HONG: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: Best known for the novels "Portnoy's Complaint" and "American Pastoral," writer blank passed away at the age of 85.

FELBER: Philip Roth.

HONG: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: After telling emergency responders that he was bitten by a rattlesnake...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

HONG: ...That fell into his kayak from a tree, a South Carolina man changed his story when it was revealed that blank.

FELBER: He thought it was an alligator and paddled right over to it and reached for it when he found out it was a snake.

HONG: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, LAUGHTER)

HONG: The man's cousin gave us the real story. After spotting what he thought was an alligator in the water, like any of us, he decided to get closer. When he paddled over and discovered it was a rattlesnake, like any of us, he said, I should pick it up. At which point, like any of us, he was bitten three times.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Luckily, he made it to the hospital quickly and is expected to make a full recovery, which means he can soon get back to his favorite hobby - bothering alligators.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Bill, did Adam do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, he got seven right for 14 more points.

POUNDSTONE: There you go.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: He now has 17, and he is our winner.

HONG: Congratulations, Adam.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.