Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
12:09 pm
Sat May 18, 2013

Panel Round One

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We want to remind everybody they can join us here most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago. For tickets and more information, go to wbez.org, and you can find a link at our website, waitwait.npr.org.

Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Bobcat, the U.N. is trying to figure out the problem of feeding an exploding global population. But they have come up with a solution, they say people should eat what?

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Children.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That would solve a problem. I'll give you a hint. There are seven billion people on the planet, but there are even more of these things.

GOLDTHWAIT: Oh no, are you saying cats?

SAGAL: Not saying...

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: I don't want people eating cats.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: Are they an animal?

SAGAL: They are a kind of animal. They're in the animal kingdom.

GOLDTHWAIT: And we should eat them and there's a lot of them.

SAGAL: There's an awful lot of them.

GOLDTHWAIT: Awful...

SAGAL: Although, you have to eat a lot of them to fill up because they're small.

GOLDTHWAIT: Pigeons.

SAGAL: No, smaller.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: Rats.

SAGAL: Smaller.

GOLDTHWAIT: Smaller than a rat.

TOM BODETT: Sort of bottom of the food chain.

GOLDTHWAIT: Oh, a little rat.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

GOLDTHWAIT: A little, tiny rat. It's, like, you have them with buffalo sauce.

SAGAL: Yeah, it's great. You dip them by the tail, Bobcat. They're very tasty.

GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

GOLDTHWAIT: Insects.

SAGAL: Insects, bugs. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: Well played.

GOLDTHWAIT: Thank you. Thank you.

SAGAL: According to the U.N., insects are "healthy and nutritious," not to mention crunchy, alternatives to your basic staples like chicken, pork, beef and whatever a McRib is made of.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Also, it is worth considering this, for people who are skeptical, with bugs you generally get four more drumsticks than you do with a chicken.

(LAUGHTER)

KYRIE O'CONNOR: Wow.

SAGAL: Tom, botox is strange, injecting your face with poisons. Plastic surgery is expensive. Not to worry, though, more and more people are turning to what to keep their faces looking inappropriately young?

BODETT: Oh, wow. Well, it can't be the obvious sort of like creams and things. Inversion? Like, they're upside down?

SAGAL: Not quite. I'll give you a hint. You're going to want to start with Downward Facing Nostril.

BODETT: Oh, I read this. It's facial yoga.

SAGAL: Face Yoga, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: I love...

SAGAL: They're doing Face Yoga.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: "Friends" star Jennifer Aniston and notorious rapper and felon Gwyneth Paltrow...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...are just two of the celebrities turning to face yoga. There are 18 poses, which move around the muscles of your face, including The Owl, Puffer Fish, and Hamster Cheeks. Lululemon has already started selling tiny see-through yoga pants for your face.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: I'm not in the best shape, so I would probably, if it catches on, need like a shirt that says, "This is not Face Yoga. I'm having a stroke."

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.